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YA Fantasy - A princess learns that the world isn't what she thinks it is

October 9, 2019 No Comments

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YA Fantasy - A princess learns that the world isn't what she thinks it is
Hello! My name is
DJ Ambler
Young Adult
Action/Adventure Fantasy Romance
Last Modified: Feb 19, 2021 @ 1:36 pm
About Me

My name is Donovan Ambler, but I go by DJ. I’m quite new to writing for anything outside of schoolwork, and only recently discovered my passion for it. As far as I know, I like to write character-driven fantasy stories that are relatively lighthearted.

Love to Read

Reading can be difficult for me, as I have aphantasia (Essentially, when someone says to “picture” something in their mind, I can’t). Because of this, I tend to stay away from books with long-winded descriptions or stories that focus a lot on trying to paint a vivid picture. Even then, I’m willing to give it a shot if it has fun characters and plot elements. Similar to my writing, I heavily prefer lighthearted books. I’m pretty simple-minded, so as long as the story is upbeat enough, I’m probably having fun. I’ll still read serious or more drama focused books, but they’re not my go-to.

Hard No's

Horror stories in general. It’s not that I can’t handle them, but rather that I don’t understand the appeal of them, so I don’t believe I would be very helpful in critiquing a story of this genre.

 

Experience
I'm very new to this
Critique Styles
Accountability Partner
Blunt Truth
Chapter-by-Chapter
Track Changes in Document
Critique Strengths
Characters
Dialogue
Time Commitment
2-3 Times a Week
Life Stages
Student, Flexible Schedule
Preferred Contact Style
Email, Instant Messaging
Approximate Location
Missouri
About the Work In Progress
Details About/Query First Page
Working Title
Trail Blazer
Age Category
Young Adult
Genres
Action/Adventure, Fantasy, Romance
Type of Project
Novel/Novella
Seeking Critique Styles & Strengths
Blunt Truth
Chapter-by-Chapter
Sandwich Critique
Track Changes in Document
Description
Grammar
Pacing
About the WIP (Query)

Celena is the princess of her kingdom. Raised with love and wealth, she grows up with everything she could ever ask for. Except the one thing she truly desires; what she spent her whole life reading about. For her knight in shining armor to sweep her off her feet.

After 23 years, she grows tired of waiting. “If he won’t come to me, then I’ll go find him myself!”

But the world is full of surprises, and when her hero turns out to be different from what she expects, she is left with a choice: quietly accept it, or carve her own path.

First Page

“The King of Demons overpowered him. Its monstrous strength was too much to handle. The cold ground embraced him, ready to swallow his mangled body whole. He could feel his life force draining, as if an hourglass were counting down. In desperation, he forced himself to look at his enemy. At the very least, he could ingrain the monster’s face into his memory before he died. But where he expected to see despair, he found hope. The backs of his companions, unrelenting and strong, stood between him and the force of evil. Their eyes focused on what was before them, because they believed in their hearts that he would rise once again to aid them. And rise he did, for he was the Hero. With newfound strength and determination, the Hero grasped his sword. His friends’ and all the world’s hopes were bestowed unto him, so he could not fail. With every ounce of his being, the Hero swung his sword and cut down the root of all evils, the King of Demons. After the battle subsided, the Hero and his companions returned home, where the Hero was married to the princess of the kingdom. The world was saved and everyone lived happily ever after.”

I close the book and turn to my butler. “Truly, this is a wonderful tale, is it not, Barnabus?” 

My assistant stands at my side in a black and white uniform. At the ripe old age of 35, his hair has just begun to turn gray. He likes to say it’s due to the stress of being my personal attendant, but I believe it’s simply because he’s old. “It is as you say Princess, a wonderful story…” he says, followed more quietly by, “but my name is Geralt…”

I walk to the half-empty bookshelf in the corner and put the book in its rightful place on the top shelf. “The way the hero struggles, yet manages to conquer the forces of evil in the end is inspiring. But the best part is that he goes back to the castle to carry the princess off to eternal happiness. That being said–” My hands ball into fists.

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