Great blog! Finding my people has made a huge difference. Twitter chats, FB groups, and especially my local community have done a lot to keep me in the game.
I live in an area with an active kidlit community. Carol Lynch Williams is everybody’s cheerleader here, and had led a great conference for 20 years. Others in the community have cheered me on as well as I work toward my goals.
I could relate to this in so many levels! Especially because I was homeschooled my whole life so I didn’t have that many friends growing up. Even now as a young adult I only have one friend and he happens to be my fiance. And my writing partner.
I do have a question: I too have tiptoed out of the Twitterverse and Instagram but found myself showing up on Instagram every now and then, more often than not. But how to keep a healthy balance with social media? I either feel like I’m not doing enough or it’s all too much. I’m an introvert but I know we writers have to put ourselves out there and let people get to know us as people and writers.
“A healthy balance with social media”. Yesssss, Tiffany, that is a tough one. I try to listen to myself and comprehend when I’m engaging, supporting, conversing, (some) promoting of my work, and when I’m obsessing, comparing, having negative thoughts, and feeling frustrated by social media. The first is healthy, the second… GET OFF THE TWITTER, SHARI. 🙂
Yeah, I need to work on the first one! The second one gets to me too often and was the reason why I quit. But I’m trying to keep up on my writing while also maintaining an online presence. Easier said than done! At least for now. Thanks, Shari!
You’re welcome, Tiffany! Just an FYI, once I started supporting other writers’ work, i.e., retweeting their successes, reading their books, etc., I stopped feeling so self-involved and have made some real friends. I believe generosity and support is where it’s at!
Hi, Elza. It somewhat depends on the platform itself. Are you talking Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or something else? I have very different experiences with each.
Regarding Twitter, I followed hashtags that relate to my area of writing like #middlegrade and #mglit and started following other writers. That led me to a couple of Twitter chats that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed, are all about real conversations, and have even led to an IRL meeting or two. Have you done any Twitter chats in your area of interest?
I’ve tried jumping in on a few, but most of them were related specifically to writing craft, and I find I don’t enjoy talking about writing… I’d rather just write!
Elza, what is your area of interest when chatting with other writers? Books you’ve read? Certain genres? Publishing?
brmanuscripts
1 year ago
Hey there!
I work with a co-author and one of the hardest parts of trying to find your people is…well, finding your people. I’m currently trying to find people who not only share our love of writing but, and I don’t know how to say this without it sounding rude, are kind of at the same level of skill. How do you go about finding people who are at a similar enough stage to you that you’re equal assistance to each other, without either party being too far ahead or behind?
Mostly social media — where I live, most of the in-person writing groups are not in the genre I tend to work in, and offer no critique sessions. Also, I’m queer, so my stories are too, and I live south of the Mason Dixon Line, so there aren’t really any writing groups that would handle my work with grace.
It’s all been surface level so far, and it’s difficult to find someone who clicks. So far I haven’t found any groups dedicated to pairing people, or building an environment for the kind of connection I’m looking for. The writing memes are funny but not particularly helpful lol
As I just told Elza, it takes some time and effort to genuinely connect on social media. It took me a couple of months of connecting and conversing to find “my people”, but it was so worth it.
My areas of interest are in making connections and friends who understand what it’s like to be a writer, reading books, and finding or giving creative encouragement.
Great! Not so much the craft of writing, but the writer’s life itself is the type of conversations you want to have, then. You may have to invest some time to get to where you want to be– I’ve found that even twitter chats about craft can start to verge into other areas and that a continual presence in certain twitter chats and supporting other writers builds some emotional capital that you can call upon. How are you doing with supporting other writers?
That makes a lot of sense. My outlet for encouraging people is more on my blog at this point, than social media, but even there, I don’t have a TON of engagement. I suppose you have to start small, but I wonder if social media is a better platform for that?
I’ve found it to be the best platform– IF you have a healthy approach to it. I decided I was going to use social media to genuinely support and encourage other writers and it’s made a world of difference. You do have to start small and build, just like in real life. When I changed my approach, things started to happen. And just for the record, I’m an extremely impatient person by nature, but I fight that tendency constantly. That way, I’m more genuine and I attract more genuine people. I hope this helps!
That’s a great point. Good things take time, sometimes! I guess I’ll keep trying things, slow and steady. Thank you so much for sharing your experience 💛
Great blog! Finding my people has made a huge difference. Twitter chats, FB groups, and especially my local community have done a lot to keep me in the game.
That’s so cool, Scott. Who in your local community has been most helpful?
I live in an area with an active kidlit community. Carol Lynch Williams is everybody’s cheerleader here, and had led a great conference for 20 years. Others in the community have cheered me on as well as I work toward my goals.
How wonderful, Scott! I want to come 🙂
I could relate to this in so many levels! Especially because I was homeschooled my whole life so I didn’t have that many friends growing up. Even now as a young adult I only have one friend and he happens to be my fiance. And my writing partner.
I do have a question: I too have tiptoed out of the Twitterverse and Instagram but found myself showing up on Instagram every now and then, more often than not. But how to keep a healthy balance with social media? I either feel like I’m not doing enough or it’s all too much. I’m an introvert but I know we writers have to put ourselves out there and let people get to know us as people and writers.
“A healthy balance with social media”. Yesssss, Tiffany, that is a tough one. I try to listen to myself and comprehend when I’m engaging, supporting, conversing, (some) promoting of my work, and when I’m obsessing, comparing, having negative thoughts, and feeling frustrated by social media. The first is healthy, the second… GET OFF THE TWITTER, SHARI. 🙂
Yeah, I need to work on the first one! The second one gets to me too often and was the reason why I quit. But I’m trying to keep up on my writing while also maintaining an online presence. Easier said than done! At least for now. Thanks, Shari!
You’re welcome, Tiffany! Just an FYI, once I started supporting other writers’ work, i.e., retweeting their successes, reading their books, etc., I stopped feeling so self-involved and have made some real friends. I believe generosity and support is where it’s at!
How would you recommend finding friends on social media, especially places where there’s not really space to hold a conversation, per se?
Hi, Elza. It somewhat depends on the platform itself. Are you talking Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or something else? I have very different experiences with each.
I was thinking specifically Twitter, but Instagram is another good example. Not much space for conversation, in my experience.
Regarding Twitter, I followed hashtags that relate to my area of writing like #middlegrade and #mglit and started following other writers. That led me to a couple of Twitter chats that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed, are all about real conversations, and have even led to an IRL meeting or two. Have you done any Twitter chats in your area of interest?
I’ve tried jumping in on a few, but most of them were related specifically to writing craft, and I find I don’t enjoy talking about writing… I’d rather just write!
Elza, what is your area of interest when chatting with other writers? Books you’ve read? Certain genres? Publishing?
Hey there!
I work with a co-author and one of the hardest parts of trying to find your people is…well, finding your people. I’m currently trying to find people who not only share our love of writing but, and I don’t know how to say this without it sounding rude, are kind of at the same level of skill. How do you go about finding people who are at a similar enough stage to you that you’re equal assistance to each other, without either party being too far ahead or behind?
Excellent question. Are you starting your search in a physical writer’s group or on social media?
Mostly social media — where I live, most of the in-person writing groups are not in the genre I tend to work in, and offer no critique sessions. Also, I’m queer, so my stories are too, and I live south of the Mason Dixon Line, so there aren’t really any writing groups that would handle my work with grace.
Got it. I’m assuming you’re on Twitter, FB, etc. There is a very strong LGTBQ presence on Twitter, how are you doing with connecting with it?
It’s all been surface level so far, and it’s difficult to find someone who clicks. So far I haven’t found any groups dedicated to pairing people, or building an environment for the kind of connection I’m looking for. The writing memes are funny but not particularly helpful lol
As I just told Elza, it takes some time and effort to genuinely connect on social media. It took me a couple of months of connecting and conversing to find “my people”, but it was so worth it.
My areas of interest are in making connections and friends who understand what it’s like to be a writer, reading books, and finding or giving creative encouragement.
Great! Not so much the craft of writing, but the writer’s life itself is the type of conversations you want to have, then. You may have to invest some time to get to where you want to be– I’ve found that even twitter chats about craft can start to verge into other areas and that a continual presence in certain twitter chats and supporting other writers builds some emotional capital that you can call upon. How are you doing with supporting other writers?
That makes a lot of sense. My outlet for encouraging people is more on my blog at this point, than social media, but even there, I don’t have a TON of engagement. I suppose you have to start small, but I wonder if social media is a better platform for that?
I’ve found it to be the best platform– IF you have a healthy approach to it. I decided I was going to use social media to genuinely support and encourage other writers and it’s made a world of difference. You do have to start small and build, just like in real life. When I changed my approach, things started to happen. And just for the record, I’m an extremely impatient person by nature, but I fight that tendency constantly. That way, I’m more genuine and I attract more genuine people. I hope this helps!
That’s a great point. Good things take time, sometimes! I guess I’ll keep trying things, slow and steady. Thank you so much for sharing your experience 💛
You’re very welcome, Elza! Do you have a Twitter handle so I can follow you?
I’m @ElzaKinde on Instagram and Twitter! I look forward to seeing you around on social media.
Another idea for anyone who checks back here now that the conference is over is to try Write On Con’s CP Match for however long it’s available.