-
strikingnotes
·
Even for those of us without children, this artistic life is a balancing act! One thing I’ve noticed that seems universal is the struggle of getting others to recognize “creating” as a valid way to spend your time. They can’t always see that it’s something that you put before other priorities or opportunities, whether you’re working under contract or still working your way there. It can be difficult to feel like you’re defending the very thing that keeps you sane!
-
Seabrooke Leckie
·
This is very true! It helps so much if you have supportive people around you. I’m really lucky that my husband is also a creative type and so understands. It’s hard when the people who would be your support system view it as a hobby – even if/when you finally sell. Good luck with the creating!
-
-
Sandy Perlic
·
I felt myself tearing up as I read this. It’s nothing I didn’t already know on some level, but it felt great to hear it. I have four kids, ages 18, 16, 12, and 10 months. Yes, we were caught off guard by the new baby. And yes, I have struggled to make time for writing and for each of my children… and for the million-and-one other things moms are responsible for.
I especially loved these thoughts by Kelly Barnhill: “The work of an artist is hard and the work of a parent is hard, and both require access to that same, fundamental, deep place of the heart – they both flow from the same spring. And sometimes, you are just sapped dry, and that is okay. Feed yourself. Take care of yourself. Fill yourself with books and art and music and experiences. There is no hurry and there is no rigid matrix for success. Write the book you were born to write at a pace that makes sense for your life. And love every minute of it.” Thank you all for sharing your experiences!
-
·
Oh goodness, what a surprise that would have been! Even with the older kids in school, it sounds like you have a very full life and busy household. I definitely relate to the full plate held by moms – and I only have one kid so far! 🙂 I really liked those words by Kelly Barnhill, too. It’s good to remind ourselves to let ourselves off the hook sometimes. All the best with your writing!
-
-
Christine Swift
·
After struggling with my manuscript for months and only being 50 pages in, I had an epiphany in the shower. What if I could just get away for, like, 3 days? A three-day weekend? I wondered how much writing I could get done?
I worked it out with the husband and spent a 3-day weekend with a really nice little widow who had a spare room and an office for my use. I finished the first draft in that one weekend. (I took a second weekend away at her house and did a little more fleshing out).
What I learned was that if I could get away from the constant interruptions that kids bring and the additional requirements of laundry, cooking, cleaning up, etc., I could really disappear into my project and get into flow– where time seems to melt away and you are mesmerized, lost and rapt in what you are doing. I did some amazing writing that weekend. I plan to call Elsie up again as soon as I start book #2.
-
·
Wow, what a wonderful opportunity that would have been! You must have a terrific, supportive husband for him to take the kids and let you get away for a long weekend. I often daydream of doing such a thing, because you’re right, trying to fit writing in around the daily schedule and interruptions of a family household is tough, but I think I would find it hard to justify to my husband without some sort of obvious return on investment (he’s taken our daughter for 4-day weekends the few times I’ve traveled for conferences/talks, for instance, but pre-agent writing is such a nebulous thing to quantify). I hope you’re able to make a regular occurrence of these writing escapes!
-
-
I definitely believe that moms need to give themselves a friggin break 🙂 Dads and other caregivers too, but I think moms are especially hard on themselves. I didn’t even consider taking up writing again until my youngest was in preschool a few mornings a week. In fact, it kind of stunned me that I even had the drive to take up a creative project AT ALL when I could have just tried to nap. When your kids are still getting up in the middle of the night, just getting through the day is a win. Especially if you have one of those kids who takes 40 minutes to put to sleep and then only naps for 20.
I’ve noticed that balancing your relationship with your partner isn’t something that comes up as much. It seems like a natural progression of priorities is kids>work>house>writing>partner/misc. But when you make the sacrifice of waking up at four, you may not be the only one making a sacrifice – partners do sometimes like to go to bed at the same time as you 🙂 Kudos to those that make it work – just don’t feel guilty if pre-dawn writing isn’t going to be your magic bullet! I was surprised to see how many answers involved a 4am routine.
So yeah, basically don’t beat yourself up if someone else’s tips don’t seem realistic. Energy and resources are really hard to come by, so use whatever dribbles you’ve got and realize this is just a season in your life 🙂 Don’t scold yourself, encourage and FORGIVE yourself! <3 Being my own cheerleader is what keeps me from giving up, even when progress seems glacial.
7 Comments
Leave your reply.